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Homeless
Buying Firewood
What Sunday Means
Bringing A Fir Straight Down
Before Our Extinction |
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Homeless
A man opens his hotel door and walks naked in front of me to the shower, all grizzled and gnarled from years in the bush, thin legged with uncut gray hair to his shoulders. He's hung his towel on his right fore-arm as if going to a ballroom and the TV sounds through his open door with low cut quiz- show voices, his bare feet sponging the scarlet gold-trecked and mildewed carpet before he goes in- to the bath and then he is singing some tune out of the old days in Cork where he came from through Canada to Alaska, his voice smoked Irish in its almost tenor with water trickling over his shoulders like a waterfall plunging down moss and crevassed diorite in some Alaska fiord, a tune transposing into the hoarse rise of 'Danny Boy' which he falls into when he gets to the end of his days all gnarled and beaten through, to the residency he's given once a month in an hotel where he keeps the TV on all night and steps stately, bone-thin naked, back to his room four times a day after bathing in anonymous water.
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Buying Firewood
Buzz of a chain saw in the wood yard as a grizzled man and his son buck four
foot logs, man-high pile of splits in the hollow between melting, dirt-smudged snow
banks. He greets me with a wave, a tired smile: fifty years married and his wife
with cancer of the uterus, going down to Portland tomorrow to check on chemo
results. He draws up the bed daily after she passes urine, feces. How much
a human contract matters. The filth of our bodies that someone's willing to clean.
That someone would stay by us in the purple lost day of our dying. We stand on
his door step, his knowing smile, the sheen that masks the lacquered grief
that covers plain ordinary pain. Yes, he has firewood. Yes, he'll deliver this
afternoon, get his son to vigil his wife. Yes, his open eyes that see
everything. We're silent, chain saw stopped, a finch in the gnarled apple tree
in the yard with only the run of its first half- melody, then our last words
as we turn to what needs doing, wood for next winter, love for what we have now. |
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What Sunday Means
Say that your three teen-age kids have survived the cracked years of the twentieth American Century, that you were right in cutting loose your husband of the last decade and getting ordained and finding a tiny congregation down-east in Maine, say that in this moment you're happy with your new love, that you step in his steps on week- old lake-ice where water still pools as the ice creaks and shimmers and you let that love of yours lead on the Sunday you have off because your kids have flown three thousand miles to their father in California and a retired preacher is doing the sermon, say you're happy stepping where he's stepped as he picks his way carefully onto the frozen surface but, when you step on the same crack he's stepped on and it creaks, your gasp is the harbinger of that panic-cry over all your hedged bets and everything you can't control when the next crack he steps on v-necks and breaks so that his shoes and pants sink and he's swinging the oar he's carrying around his head and down to the ice in chest-high water and you're on your stomach pulling that oar and him back up, realizing it's all luck, a blessing whose grace slips towards you or away because you can't be sure early-winter ice will hold long enough for you both to reach shore.
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Bringing A Fir Straight Down
A fan-tail of black floats above the knoll and the Wood's Boss puts on his orange muffler helmet, clips climbing spikes to his boots and tells me he lives with ravens to clear his mind, pulls his gloves off to show me a walking stick he'd carved 30 years ago in the Smokies, says, Raven's will is my will and our wills are to survive, cradles it in his hand before he lets me feel the worn-in sweat and shine of a carved raven's bill, says, when he takes his long walk-abouts in the woods from 'Hafen's Halla,' his camp, they follow before, behind, beside, gliding through air. When he comes to the abutment looking out on the lake's exit river and points his walking-stick over the precipice, they cup-spread their wings and tail-fans and land beside him as now, when he reaches the fir's base and starts to climb, that black-circling gyres smaller and smaller until sweeping low it lands, croaks, and looks up at the orange-helmeted Wood's Boss who has climbed with his chain saw into the clear sky to top the dead crowned tree.
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Before Our Extinction
So what happened to the sequential taking to flight of the loons this autumn, this late November when brown berries of mountain
ash turn red, turn outward in migration to new life and loons inward in the long straight take- off of their lifting over winter
to Penobscot islands and the sea? Not a sound on the lake where before on still water they would congregate in song preparing to fly.
They are not here and my fear they will never return won't go away, even when a sudden flock of geese recall the angled run-off flight
of bones heavier than air long since evolved, not from some hollow- boned ancestor of the late Mesozoic, but from a blood-drummed and solid-
boned lizard whose wind-whistle of flight haunts the air: they are not here, are not, and who will remember them when we are gone?
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